Today’s guest post is from Lora Krsulich, a trial lawyer at Goodwin in LA.
Here’s Lora:
Before my first summer associate position, I attended a program organized by the First Generation Professionals group at Berkeley Law. The goal was simple: help students navigate the parts of law firm life that weren’t taught in class.
There was a wine tasting. We heard from experts about how to select a bottle of wine for a table when you’re not paying for it and when the people around the table have very different tastes. There were lessons about business dinners. There was even a discussion about napkins.
This was all entirely foreign to me. I grew up in a family where nobody was a lawyer. Nobody worked in a large professional services firm. Nobody taught me how to order wine at a business dinner. My expertise in wine selection extended to one rule: pick the cheapest bottle on the menu.
Then, during a summer associate event, I found myself in exactly the situation we had discussed. Someone asked me to choose the bottle of wine for the table. I remember feeling the pressure. Was there a right answer? Was everyone evaluating me? Was this one of those unwritten rules that everyone else somehow already knew?
Looking back, I am grateful that Berkeley Law’s First Generation Professionals group created space to discuss these issues. For students entering environments that may feel unfamiliar, practical advice can be genuinely helpful. Knowing what to expect can reduce anxiety and help people feel more comfortable.
But with the benefit of hindsight, I think the wine was never really the point.
One of the biggest challenges of being a summer associate is not learning how to order wine or which napkin to choose. It is learning how to build relationships with people who may eventually become your mentors, colleagues, and bosses.
For first-generation professionals, that can feel intimidating.
When I was a law student, many of the partners I met were earning five, ten, twenty, or even more times what my parents earned combined when I was growing up. I sometimes assumed that we had little in common. Their lives seemed so different from mine that meaningful conversation felt difficult.
I now think that assumption was wrong.
The longer I have practiced law, the more I have realized how much lawyers share, regardless of their backgrounds. Almost every lawyer remembers the stress of law school exams. Almost every lawyer remembers waiting for bar exam results after investing years of effort into becoming a lawyer. Most lawyers know what it feels like to want to do excellent work, to worry about making mistakes, and to wonder whether they are meeting expectations.
As careers progress, the topics change, but the common experiences remain. Lawyers think about how to serve demanding clients. They think about how technology is changing the profession. They think about how to balance work and family. They think about career development, professional fulfillment, leadership, and what they want the next stage of their careers to look like.
There is far more to talk about than wine.
The challenge is being willing to engage. That doesn’t mean every conversation will be easy. It doesn’t mean you should pretend to have experiences you haven’t had. In fact, authenticity is usually far more effective than trying to perform a version of professionalism that doesn’t feel natural.
It also helps to find spaces where you can talk openly about what it means to be a first-generation professional. Entering highly privileged environments can bring up insecurities. It can create the feeling that everyone else received a handbook explaining the rules while you somehow missed your copy.
The good news is that those spaces are increasingly common. At my firm, for example, we have a First Generation Professionals group with engaged partners and associates who are eager to have these conversations. Communities like these remind us that many successful lawyers have wrestled with the same questions and feelings.
For today’s summer associates, my advice is simple. Take advantage of the opportunities in front of you. The firm is rolling out the red carpet. Go to the dinners. Attend the events. Try things you’ve never had the chance to try before.
Learn how to pick a bottle of wine if you want to. But remember that the wine is not what people will remember. What they will remember is whether you were curious, thoughtful, engaged, and genuinely interested in getting to know them.
Those are skills that matter long after the dinner is over.
Keep standing out,
Lora
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